Seeing as it is no longer 2009 I suppose I should post something.... But what? I just got back from Texas. We celebrated my Great-Grandma's 90th birthday. My cousins came too. I took pictures but my aunt has them on her computer. So I can't post them if I don't have them... duh. :)
Well recently some things have been discovered about my health and all that. So, we are in the process of changing some things to possibly help. But it has been hard. This song keeps coming to my mind though. I know I've posted a lot of songs recently, but this is a really special song to me. I think that's because this song really applies to my life right now... actually, my whole life.
If You Want Me To
Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to
It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone
So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
Sometimes, I just wish that God would take away all of my pain and issues. You know, like "Why, God? Why me? You say You're good, but why all this pain?" But I'm wrong to say that. God is good. He always has been. Even in the midst of physical problems. Even in the midst of everything, He is always good. Everything happens for the good of His people. That means me too. My good. I believe that I'm a different person because of all that has happened to me in these 16 years. So now I say, with an open heart and empty hands:
Thank you. Thank you for this arthritis. Thank you for the surgery. Thank you for the shots and the injections. Thank you for making me have to rely on You. Everything in this world is deteriorating... dying. It has been since the moment that sin entered the world. Including me. But You, You're constant and perfect. Nothing, not even my failures, can mar Your holiness. And yet, you came down to earth, became a man, and died for the sins of the world... My sins. Please use me. Use my struggles to bring You glory. I believe you already have. But, please, continue. If it is Your will, I will go through this valley... But to You be all the glory because I'm never alone. You are always with me. I gave my life to You many years ago, but I continue to give it to You. It is Yours. Use it to bring You glory.
Amen
Sorry, I didn't really mean to dump all of this on here. But I felt that I needed to. Thanks for listening... Or reading... :)
